We got to meet you today. For the first time. I was excited. Exhausted, a little anxious, but still excited.
You were scheduled to be transferred back into my uterus as an embryo at 12.45pm. Your dad and I took the day off work so we could meet you together.
You were waiting for us at a new centre with a new specialist. You'd travelled a long way from the other side of the country to meet us here. But this centre is nice. And the specialist is lovely. I like her.
We got to see you as an embryo on the screen. The embryologist pointed at the little dark shadow and said it was you. It looked like bubbles were breaking out the side. She said that was the embryo looking for something to stick to.
Seeing you on screen was like seeing you make your grand entrance, walking down the stairs in slow motion, elegantly dressed and looking beautiful. I actually gasped. There you were! And I was the lucky mum to pick you up and continue your journey.
The specialist placed you smack bang in the middle of my uterus and she showed us where you were on the ultrasound screen. "See that little star?" She pointed at a bright spot. "That is the embryo."
Well, star became spark, and spark became AllSpark. So thanks to your dad, you've now been named after "the spark of every Transformer who has ever lived, or ever will live". We've bonded with you already. Obviously ;)
If you decide to not stick around...I will be...I'm not quite sure. For now, I'm excited and happy that you've moved in. I hope you do stick around, Little One. Because I'm really looking forward to seeing you again.
Love Mum x
Wednesday, 17 August 2016
Saturday, 17 January 2015
Ding! Ding! Ding! Round TWO!
Round two. You would have thought that the hard yakka from round one would have prepared me, but no! No it does not. Why? Because we've moved away from family who can help with childcare while I have my many appointments. Because we left all the specialists that I'm familiar with and have had to find new ones to trust. Because we left perfectly good embryos behind, just waiting to be implanted in the oven. Because IVF in Perth would have been a much better financial option. Because I left the security of a great job with a boss who was understanding of my predicament. Because we kept our house in Perth as an "investment property" which has now become an unplanned financial burden. And because now we are essentially back to one wage with less means for saving. And juggling all of this with a toddler is a lot harder than you would think.
This round has been so hard because I know what I have to do, but we just can't get the money together to do it. And it has just been delay after delay after delay. Every time I'm close to saving enough, something always comes up and we're back to square one.
It all came to a head over a recent heated discussion over our finances. It became apparent that we'd never be able to afford to do IVF. It really hit me hard to say those words and admit defeat. I was sobbing heavily, you know, the kind where your whole body shakes and you can't breathe. But after a few hours, there was something still clicking over in the back of my mind. "Maybe we could see a specialist and ask if an IUI could work? That would be cheaper. Or maybe we could fly back to Perth? I'm sure it would be a cheaper option in the end. Or..."
And that's when I realised my true strength. I couldn't even admit my own defeat. My own brain wouldn't let me. This is the one new years resolution I was going to see through with. It's not the first little challenge I've ever come across, but it's the first one where I could see my emotional muscles working with a relentless determination. I've given myself a goal for this year. I'm not going to let myself down.
This round has been so hard because I know what I have to do, but we just can't get the money together to do it. And it has just been delay after delay after delay. Every time I'm close to saving enough, something always comes up and we're back to square one.
It all came to a head over a recent heated discussion over our finances. It became apparent that we'd never be able to afford to do IVF. It really hit me hard to say those words and admit defeat. I was sobbing heavily, you know, the kind where your whole body shakes and you can't breathe. But after a few hours, there was something still clicking over in the back of my mind. "Maybe we could see a specialist and ask if an IUI could work? That would be cheaper. Or maybe we could fly back to Perth? I'm sure it would be a cheaper option in the end. Or..."
And that's when I realised my true strength. I couldn't even admit my own defeat. My own brain wouldn't let me. This is the one new years resolution I was going to see through with. It's not the first little challenge I've ever come across, but it's the first one where I could see my emotional muscles working with a relentless determination. I've given myself a goal for this year. I'm not going to let myself down.
Sunday, 23 March 2014
And the Merry-Go-Round goes round and round...
We are currently in discussion mode for our next cycle for No. 2. But I don't really want to talk about the complications or logistics surrounding that nightmare. I want to talk about today.
Today is day 30 in my cycle. My cycle has been 25 - 27 days for the past four months. It's unusual to be this late. I have been charting my temperature for the past 5 days, trying to predict when my period will arrive. So now I've set the scene. I'm in the midst of the crazy Two Week Wait (TWW).
I should really say it's been a crazy two and a half weeks. I was positive I was experiencing pregnancy symptoms at least 2 days past ovulation. Frequent urination and gagging from the smell of a public toilet. There's two symptoms: tick! Two days later, my itchy boob made me wonder a bit, but teamed with the uncomfortably full, cramping feeling in my uterus, I had to add a couple more notches to my pregnancy belt.
I felt breathless. Picking something up from the floor made my heart race and my breathing become rapid. I was inexplicably exhausted. It was all adding up.
And then I rode the Merry-Go-Round, an actual Merry-Go-Round. I straddled the carousel horse with my 16-month old son, and as the horse started to move up and down, I felt that familiar feeling in the top of my stomach. Motion Sickness. My number one pregnancy peeve.
These pregnancy symptoms went on for a week. I just felt off. I've taken three pregnancy tests in the last week. I've had three negative results.
Today I used the last test in the box. And that last result broke me.
My head told me that it was crazy. It didn't make sense for me to fall pregnant. I had been violently ill during my last cycle, which made my period very light and it lasted for 5 days. I was stressed. And there was the glaringly obvious...it's never happened (naturally) to me before.
But my heart told me, what if it HAS happened? It's still possible. It's happened for others. Every time I looked at my son, I felt a yearning for another one. I wanted more of him. I was filled with so much hope.
But that last result just broke me. And I felt that horrible, familiar feeling of failure again. That vicious cycle, repeating itself month after month. It's a cruel ride we put ourselves through. I just want off it.
So now, I'm just building myself back up. My period still hasn't arrived yet. But when it does, I hope I'm ready for the next ride.
Today is day 30 in my cycle. My cycle has been 25 - 27 days for the past four months. It's unusual to be this late. I have been charting my temperature for the past 5 days, trying to predict when my period will arrive. So now I've set the scene. I'm in the midst of the crazy Two Week Wait (TWW).
I should really say it's been a crazy two and a half weeks. I was positive I was experiencing pregnancy symptoms at least 2 days past ovulation. Frequent urination and gagging from the smell of a public toilet. There's two symptoms: tick! Two days later, my itchy boob made me wonder a bit, but teamed with the uncomfortably full, cramping feeling in my uterus, I had to add a couple more notches to my pregnancy belt.
I felt breathless. Picking something up from the floor made my heart race and my breathing become rapid. I was inexplicably exhausted. It was all adding up.
And then I rode the Merry-Go-Round, an actual Merry-Go-Round. I straddled the carousel horse with my 16-month old son, and as the horse started to move up and down, I felt that familiar feeling in the top of my stomach. Motion Sickness. My number one pregnancy peeve.
These pregnancy symptoms went on for a week. I just felt off. I've taken three pregnancy tests in the last week. I've had three negative results.
Today I used the last test in the box. And that last result broke me.
My head told me that it was crazy. It didn't make sense for me to fall pregnant. I had been violently ill during my last cycle, which made my period very light and it lasted for 5 days. I was stressed. And there was the glaringly obvious...it's never happened (naturally) to me before.
But my heart told me, what if it HAS happened? It's still possible. It's happened for others. Every time I looked at my son, I felt a yearning for another one. I wanted more of him. I was filled with so much hope.
But that last result just broke me. And I felt that horrible, familiar feeling of failure again. That vicious cycle, repeating itself month after month. It's a cruel ride we put ourselves through. I just want off it.
So now, I'm just building myself back up. My period still hasn't arrived yet. But when it does, I hope I'm ready for the next ride.
Monday, 25 November 2013
Happy Birthday Junior C
Dear Junior C,
How exciting! You're a year old already!! We have already started thinking about trying for a little brother or sister (crossing fingers) for you...but that's another story.
This is about you. And the amazing year we've had so far. We celebrated that year with two parties! One party was with your family in Perth, and one party was in Canberra with your baby friends. You are a very lucky little boy.
You have changed so unbelievably much. You're really growing into a little person. You are very happy and easy going, even though your daddy says you're very serious. People are always commenting on how cute you are and how they want to steal your gorgeous, long eyelashes.
You're a well travelled baby. You've been to Perth twice, Tonga once, the Central Coast and Sydney numerous times. You are loving your swimming lessons, but you still can't blow bubbles in the water yet. We go to mothers group every Thursday. You love going for walks in your pram. And we love taking you in the pram because you fall asleep. Last weekend we took you for a ride in your bike trailer and you fell asleep on the way to the shops and the way back.
You take after me with your very healthy appetite, which makes me so proud! But you take after your daddy in the sleeping category, and you STILL haven't slept through the night yet. But I've resigned to the fact that this is my lot in life. To cater to your needs during the day AND the night. Unfortunately, you have been cursed with mummy's eczema riddled skin and you have terrible rashes behind your knees, elbows and wrists as well as on your collar bone. And it looks like it's spreading. I'm so sorry, my baby!! I hope you grow out of it like the doctor said!
You have 8 teeth that I can see. You can't walk yet, but you are crawling around everywhere! You can pull yourself up and stand while holding on to something. You can wave good bye. You say Mum-mum and Da-da. You and daddy love to wrestle on the ground. "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke was your absolute favourite song. It would always make you smile and dance every time without fail. We know this because we tested it during one of your tantrums. But now we've discovered a new wonder song, "Roar" by Katy Perry. Only this song has a more hypnotising effect on you. You are definitely a little groover.
You are an amazing little kid. I am so proud of you and I feel so lucky to be your Mum.
Love you,
Mum-Mum
How exciting! You're a year old already!! We have already started thinking about trying for a little brother or sister (crossing fingers) for you...but that's another story.
This is about you. And the amazing year we've had so far. We celebrated that year with two parties! One party was with your family in Perth, and one party was in Canberra with your baby friends. You are a very lucky little boy.
You have changed so unbelievably much. You're really growing into a little person. You are very happy and easy going, even though your daddy says you're very serious. People are always commenting on how cute you are and how they want to steal your gorgeous, long eyelashes.
You take after me with your very healthy appetite, which makes me so proud! But you take after your daddy in the sleeping category, and you STILL haven't slept through the night yet. But I've resigned to the fact that this is my lot in life. To cater to your needs during the day AND the night. Unfortunately, you have been cursed with mummy's eczema riddled skin and you have terrible rashes behind your knees, elbows and wrists as well as on your collar bone. And it looks like it's spreading. I'm so sorry, my baby!! I hope you grow out of it like the doctor said!
You have 8 teeth that I can see. You can't walk yet, but you are crawling around everywhere! You can pull yourself up and stand while holding on to something. You can wave good bye. You say Mum-mum and Da-da. You and daddy love to wrestle on the ground. "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke was your absolute favourite song. It would always make you smile and dance every time without fail. We know this because we tested it during one of your tantrums. But now we've discovered a new wonder song, "Roar" by Katy Perry. Only this song has a more hypnotising effect on you. You are definitely a little groover.
You are an amazing little kid. I am so proud of you and I feel so lucky to be your Mum.
Love you,
Mum-Mum
Friday, 22 November 2013
Little Band-Aid Solutions
I have a friend who has an autistic son. It has been a real trial for her as he has limited function. Perhaps her greatest struggle is with people's "good intentions".
Many times she has recieved comments that are both insensitive and ignorant. One person once told her that Autism is the result of vaccinations. How nice to hear that someone thinks you deliberately had your son injected with a vaccination riddled with autism. And then to live in regret, wondering, "if only I hadn't gotten my son vaccinated!" Well that would have fixed everything now, wouldn't it? Not only does it offer constructive help for her situation, it also leaves her feeling so much more positive about it. Not.
This is probably one of our strongest bonds between my friend and I. We had both been on the receiving of these well intentioned criticisms. Only I had to suffer in silence and nod dumbly in agreement. "OK! Let's just throw out a joke I've prepared earlier and deflect this whole conversation away from the grating truth!!"
My mother-in-law had innocently made a remark about a friend of hers who was struggling with IVF. She unwittingly made some comments that she would not have said if she had known about the struggle her son and I had in conceiving her grandchild. As her friend's husband worked away a lot, she remarked how the lack of sex wasn't helping. This really grated against my nerve, as we all know that you could be having sex 5 times every week and you still won't fall pregnant unless you do it in that small window of opportunity. And even then! It's not going to fix cysts on someone's ovaries. Or increase someone's sperm count. Or regulate someone's menstrual cycle. The sex isn't the problem. It never was. And the frequency of it has little to do with it either.
Unfortunately, it's easy for other people to apply a simple little band aid to fix the gaping wound of a problem they don't understand. Sigh.
Many times she has recieved comments that are both insensitive and ignorant. One person once told her that Autism is the result of vaccinations. How nice to hear that someone thinks you deliberately had your son injected with a vaccination riddled with autism. And then to live in regret, wondering, "if only I hadn't gotten my son vaccinated!" Well that would have fixed everything now, wouldn't it? Not only does it offer constructive help for her situation, it also leaves her feeling so much more positive about it. Not.
This is probably one of our strongest bonds between my friend and I. We had both been on the receiving of these well intentioned criticisms. Only I had to suffer in silence and nod dumbly in agreement. "OK! Let's just throw out a joke I've prepared earlier and deflect this whole conversation away from the grating truth!!"
My mother-in-law had innocently made a remark about a friend of hers who was struggling with IVF. She unwittingly made some comments that she would not have said if she had known about the struggle her son and I had in conceiving her grandchild. As her friend's husband worked away a lot, she remarked how the lack of sex wasn't helping. This really grated against my nerve, as we all know that you could be having sex 5 times every week and you still won't fall pregnant unless you do it in that small window of opportunity. And even then! It's not going to fix cysts on someone's ovaries. Or increase someone's sperm count. Or regulate someone's menstrual cycle. The sex isn't the problem. It never was. And the frequency of it has little to do with it either.
Unfortunately, it's easy for other people to apply a simple little band aid to fix the gaping wound of a problem they don't understand. Sigh.
Saturday, 23 February 2013
My labour story: The gory details
Dear Junior C,
Well Little One, this is the story of how you came into this world. I was stressed to the max, waiting in anticipation for your arrival. I was worried that your Nana would totally miss out on seeing you, and she would fly back to New Zealand "empty handed".
It was one day past your due date, and I went to bed early as it was exhausting carrying you around all day. I woke around 2am. As I shifted you in my belly to my other side, I felt a little trickle. I rushed to the toilet and confirmed that my waters had broken. But I was still a little unsure if I was in labour because there was no "show" yet. So I went back to bed and could feel contractions straight away. They weren't too bad, they were only 10 minutes apart. I must have laid there in bed for 2 hours, counting my contractions. The bloody show made it's appearance around 4.30am.
At 5am, I got up and waddled around the living room. I decided to call the hospital and get their advice. I spoke to the nurse while I bounced on the exercise ball. She told me to get ready and come into the hospital so they could check me and my progress. There was no rush. So I pottered around the house, getting my bags ready (and more importantly - my snacks!)
Daddy was still faaaast asleeep.
Daddy woke up around 6am and he laid in bed playing on his mobile (as usual).
I said to him, "Get up Lazy!"
He yawned and said, "Whhyyy?"
"'Cause we're going to the hospital."
"What for?"
"Um...to have a baby!"
"Oh! NOW?!"
"Yes. But please, have a shower first."
We got to the hospital around 8am and we were shown to the labour ward. It was a nice big room, with my own bathroom. The mid wife checked me, and confirmed that I was indeed in labour. I was 3cm dilated. How exciting!
I got to strip down (yet again) and get into my sexy hospital gown. We were there in time for morning tea, so I got to enjoy some cake and a cup of tea. Daddy was timing my contractions using an app that I had downloaded the week before. But not much was happening, so we were moved down to my post natal ward to wait until my labour had progressed a bit more. Daddy and I watched some terrible daytime TV. We were laughing and making jokes. The nurse told us I was enjoying myself too much, so I must still be in the early stages. She said, "Call me when you stop laughing!"
We were there for a while and it got quite boring...until around 1pm. Things were getting a bit more intense. Contractions were coming every 5 minutes. And there were getting stronger and lasting longer. By 3pm, I was straddled over the top of the bed. I wanted to see my nurse. I wasn't laughing anymore. I was hyperventilating. My whole lower body was tingling and I could barely feel my legs. She gave me some oxygen. She checked me again and said I was 6cm dilated. I was progressing well. She asked if I wanted any drugs for the pain. But I declined because she told me labour would probably only take another 4 hours max. I thought, "Sure! I can handle that!"
Well...I lasted an hour. I asked for drugs. I opted for pethidine. She injected it into my shoulder and I was off with the fairies! It felt like I was floating outside of my body. I could feel the contractions coming, but I would "pass out" half way through and forget to breathe. Daddy had to hold me and walk me around the room because I couldn't hold myself up. I couldn't even sit up in bed!
I couldn't remember the next hour very well. But around 6pm, the nurse came back in to check my cervix. I hadn't dilated in 3 hours. I was still only 6cm. My labour had stalled, contractions were slowing down. And you were getting very distressed because you couldn't get out. Daddy was watching your heart rate on the monitor and it shot through the roof at every contraction.
The nurses left the room and contacted my obstetrician. The doctor came into the room around 7.30pm. He told us that because labour had stalled, he didn't know how much longer labour would take. I could have been there for another 8 hours! And even then, you may not have made any more progress. Also, due to the shape of my pelvis, your little head was just not going to fit. "It was like trying to fit a round peg, through a square hole." And besides, my body was giving up. You were getting very distressed. It was time for you to come out.
So we signed the forms for an emergency cesarean. I was wheeled off to theatre. Daddy was made to wait outside while they put the spinal block in. It took them a good 20 minutes because the anesthetist couldn't find the right spot...(mummy has a crooked spine). It was incredibly challenging trying to arch my back like a hissing cat when I had a big beach ball belly in my way!
I was laid flat on the table. A curtain was put up over my chest and daddy was called in. He stood next me, by my shoulders. I couldn't feel anything below my waist because of the spinal block. But I could feel the doctor tugging and rummaging around. He asked me to give one push (which made me giggle because I couldn't feel it). He told daddy to get his camera ready, and then he lifted you out and held you up for daddy to see. You were born at 9.34pm.
I heard you cry, but I didn't get to see you straight away. Daddy went with the nurse to weigh you and cut your umbilical cord. Then they brought you back and I got to see your swollen little face. Daddy took you back to my room and I had to spend another 45 minutes in recovery before I could see you again.
When I got to my room, daddy put you in my arms. You were so tiny! Which is funny because you felt really big inside my belly!!
And there you go. You were a healthy baby boy, who loved to sleep and eat. You're 3 months now, and I've already forgotten how bad the gory details were. Lucky you've made up for it by now!
Well Little One, this is the story of how you came into this world. I was stressed to the max, waiting in anticipation for your arrival. I was worried that your Nana would totally miss out on seeing you, and she would fly back to New Zealand "empty handed".
It was one day past your due date, and I went to bed early as it was exhausting carrying you around all day. I woke around 2am. As I shifted you in my belly to my other side, I felt a little trickle. I rushed to the toilet and confirmed that my waters had broken. But I was still a little unsure if I was in labour because there was no "show" yet. So I went back to bed and could feel contractions straight away. They weren't too bad, they were only 10 minutes apart. I must have laid there in bed for 2 hours, counting my contractions. The bloody show made it's appearance around 4.30am.
At 5am, I got up and waddled around the living room. I decided to call the hospital and get their advice. I spoke to the nurse while I bounced on the exercise ball. She told me to get ready and come into the hospital so they could check me and my progress. There was no rush. So I pottered around the house, getting my bags ready (and more importantly - my snacks!)
Daddy was still faaaast asleeep.
Daddy woke up around 6am and he laid in bed playing on his mobile (as usual).
I said to him, "Get up Lazy!"
He yawned and said, "Whhyyy?"
"'Cause we're going to the hospital."
"What for?"
"Um...to have a baby!"
"Oh! NOW?!"
"Yes. But please, have a shower first."
We got to the hospital around 8am and we were shown to the labour ward. It was a nice big room, with my own bathroom. The mid wife checked me, and confirmed that I was indeed in labour. I was 3cm dilated. How exciting!
I got to strip down (yet again) and get into my sexy hospital gown. We were there in time for morning tea, so I got to enjoy some cake and a cup of tea. Daddy was timing my contractions using an app that I had downloaded the week before. But not much was happening, so we were moved down to my post natal ward to wait until my labour had progressed a bit more. Daddy and I watched some terrible daytime TV. We were laughing and making jokes. The nurse told us I was enjoying myself too much, so I must still be in the early stages. She said, "Call me when you stop laughing!"
We were there for a while and it got quite boring...until around 1pm. Things were getting a bit more intense. Contractions were coming every 5 minutes. And there were getting stronger and lasting longer. By 3pm, I was straddled over the top of the bed. I wanted to see my nurse. I wasn't laughing anymore. I was hyperventilating. My whole lower body was tingling and I could barely feel my legs. She gave me some oxygen. She checked me again and said I was 6cm dilated. I was progressing well. She asked if I wanted any drugs for the pain. But I declined because she told me labour would probably only take another 4 hours max. I thought, "Sure! I can handle that!"
Well...I lasted an hour. I asked for drugs. I opted for pethidine. She injected it into my shoulder and I was off with the fairies! It felt like I was floating outside of my body. I could feel the contractions coming, but I would "pass out" half way through and forget to breathe. Daddy had to hold me and walk me around the room because I couldn't hold myself up. I couldn't even sit up in bed!
I couldn't remember the next hour very well. But around 6pm, the nurse came back in to check my cervix. I hadn't dilated in 3 hours. I was still only 6cm. My labour had stalled, contractions were slowing down. And you were getting very distressed because you couldn't get out. Daddy was watching your heart rate on the monitor and it shot through the roof at every contraction.
The nurses left the room and contacted my obstetrician. The doctor came into the room around 7.30pm. He told us that because labour had stalled, he didn't know how much longer labour would take. I could have been there for another 8 hours! And even then, you may not have made any more progress. Also, due to the shape of my pelvis, your little head was just not going to fit. "It was like trying to fit a round peg, through a square hole." And besides, my body was giving up. You were getting very distressed. It was time for you to come out.
So we signed the forms for an emergency cesarean. I was wheeled off to theatre. Daddy was made to wait outside while they put the spinal block in. It took them a good 20 minutes because the anesthetist couldn't find the right spot...(mummy has a crooked spine). It was incredibly challenging trying to arch my back like a hissing cat when I had a big beach ball belly in my way!
I was laid flat on the table. A curtain was put up over my chest and daddy was called in. He stood next me, by my shoulders. I couldn't feel anything below my waist because of the spinal block. But I could feel the doctor tugging and rummaging around. He asked me to give one push (which made me giggle because I couldn't feel it). He told daddy to get his camera ready, and then he lifted you out and held you up for daddy to see. You were born at 9.34pm.
I heard you cry, but I didn't get to see you straight away. Daddy went with the nurse to weigh you and cut your umbilical cord. Then they brought you back and I got to see your swollen little face. Daddy took you back to my room and I had to spend another 45 minutes in recovery before I could see you again.
When I got to my room, daddy put you in my arms. You were so tiny! Which is funny because you felt really big inside my belly!!
And there you go. You were a healthy baby boy, who loved to sleep and eat. You're 3 months now, and I've already forgotten how bad the gory details were. Lucky you've made up for it by now!
Happy Transfer Anniversary!
A special post today. One year ago, little Jnr C was transferred back inside after his little jaunt in the petrie dish. The embryologist described him as "beautiful". And we got to see him as a beautiful embryo on the screen before he was transferred back in. How strange! Not many people can claim to have seen their children as embryos!
I remember feeling so...uncertain, excited, overwhelmed...yet, giggly all the same. Stress does that to me. But, I remember it being a good day (despite some uncomfortable awkwardness). I had a lot of laughs. I remember seeing my doctor as I was leaving the clinic, and joking with him, "Yep, I feel pregnant already!"
I had no idea what was in store for me. And to my past self I say, "High five! Well done!!"
Definitely no regrets!!
I remember feeling so...uncertain, excited, overwhelmed...yet, giggly all the same. Stress does that to me. But, I remember it being a good day (despite some uncomfortable awkwardness). I had a lot of laughs. I remember seeing my doctor as I was leaving the clinic, and joking with him, "Yep, I feel pregnant already!"
I had no idea what was in store for me. And to my past self I say, "High five! Well done!!"
Definitely no regrets!!
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
This time last year...
It's 10pm and I'm heading off to bed. I quickly duck into the nursery to check on Jnr C, and he lays there perfectly still, quietly breathing. He hasn't moved since I put him in his cot at 7.30pm. He has the most perfect, angelic face when he's asleep...sigh.
I can't believe how lucky I am. I know that I'm approaching the anniversary of when we got the positive test result, so I think back to where we were this time a year ago. It's hard to believe how much can change in a year.
This time last year:
I can't believe how lucky I am. I know that I'm approaching the anniversary of when we got the positive test result, so I think back to where we were this time a year ago. It's hard to believe how much can change in a year.
This time last year:
- We had just started our first IVF cycle.
- I had been pumping Synarel up my nose for 10 days.
- We were enjoying the beautiful, sunny beaches of Perth.
- We were living in our own home.
- I had a great, full time job that I loved.
- And I was facing a whole new chapter of uncertainty, which I was totally scared, yet cautiously optimistic about. Let's face it - I was crapping myself.
And here we are. Living in a rented house in Canberra, 2 hours away from the closest beach. Enjoying a new full time role as a mum, which I'm growing to love more and more. And looking at the sweet face of my little boy.
I would like to take my past self aside and tell her, "You will overcome your nervous diahorrea issue. This will be one of the best decisions you have ever made and, as always, you will follow it through with determination and surprising ease."
So much can change in a year.
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Welcome to motherhood
No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I may have been teetering on the precipice for a while, but I am happy to report that I am now the mother of a beautiful, healthy baby boy - Jnr C. After what seemed like an agonising last few weeks, Jnr C came into this world via emergency C-Section.
I was expecting a natural labour, so was not prepared for the cesarean at all. Labour started to get more intense 6 or 7 hours after I arrived at the hospital. In fact I was in hospital for a total of 14 hours before Jnr C made his appearance. Once the decision had been made to go into theatre, everything happened really quickly. I was laid on the table after they inserted the spinal block and a curtain was put up above my chest so I couldn't see the doctors rummaging around in the basement. My husband was called in and 10 minutes later the sharp cries of little Jnr C pierced the air.
It was the most surreal moment. All the years of trying. All the months of incubating. All the hours of labour. And it was over in 10 minutes. I had a son. I was a mum.
They held this greyish, wrinkly, wriggly little stranger above my face and I looked into his swollen little eyes. And no, I wasn't overwhelmed with a flood of emotion or instant love. I was stunned. I felt so removed from the whole process. My memory of his birth will always be looking at a kaleidoscope of lights above me and a blue curtain. Even when my husband showed me pictures of the doctor holding Jnr C above my opened "handbag," I still couldn't identify with what I was looking at. I was so detached from that moment, it was like I was looking at the pictures of the birth of someone else's baby. I missed out on seeing him come from my body. At least my husband got to see it, take him over to get weighed AND cut his umbilical cord.
And Jnr C remained a stranger to me for a while afterwards. It was still hard for me to grasp the enormity of finally reaching the goal I had worked towards for so many years. Just like my pregnancy, I kept waiting for someone to rip the rug from right under my feet. I would also look at his little sleeping face and feel immense responsibility for this little man. I was somebody's mother and he needed me. It scared me.
The days passed, my confidence grew. I slowly recovered. My energy slowly returned. Now he looks into my eyes and I realise, I am his mother and he needs me. And with that one look, he makes me melt. I am in love. I want to make everything better for him. I want to make him smile everyday. I never want him to stop looking at me like that. How many times can I kiss that kid? Not enough.
Jnr C will be 10 weeks tomorrow. Those weeks have gone by so fast and I can't wait for the next 10.
I was expecting a natural labour, so was not prepared for the cesarean at all. Labour started to get more intense 6 or 7 hours after I arrived at the hospital. In fact I was in hospital for a total of 14 hours before Jnr C made his appearance. Once the decision had been made to go into theatre, everything happened really quickly. I was laid on the table after they inserted the spinal block and a curtain was put up above my chest so I couldn't see the doctors rummaging around in the basement. My husband was called in and 10 minutes later the sharp cries of little Jnr C pierced the air.
It was the most surreal moment. All the years of trying. All the months of incubating. All the hours of labour. And it was over in 10 minutes. I had a son. I was a mum.
They held this greyish, wrinkly, wriggly little stranger above my face and I looked into his swollen little eyes. And no, I wasn't overwhelmed with a flood of emotion or instant love. I was stunned. I felt so removed from the whole process. My memory of his birth will always be looking at a kaleidoscope of lights above me and a blue curtain. Even when my husband showed me pictures of the doctor holding Jnr C above my opened "handbag," I still couldn't identify with what I was looking at. I was so detached from that moment, it was like I was looking at the pictures of the birth of someone else's baby. I missed out on seeing him come from my body. At least my husband got to see it, take him over to get weighed AND cut his umbilical cord.
And Jnr C remained a stranger to me for a while afterwards. It was still hard for me to grasp the enormity of finally reaching the goal I had worked towards for so many years. Just like my pregnancy, I kept waiting for someone to rip the rug from right under my feet. I would also look at his little sleeping face and feel immense responsibility for this little man. I was somebody's mother and he needed me. It scared me.
The days passed, my confidence grew. I slowly recovered. My energy slowly returned. Now he looks into my eyes and I realise, I am his mother and he needs me. And with that one look, he makes me melt. I am in love. I want to make everything better for him. I want to make him smile everyday. I never want him to stop looking at me like that. How many times can I kiss that kid? Not enough.
Jnr C will be 10 weeks tomorrow. Those weeks have gone by so fast and I can't wait for the next 10.
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Frustrations in the Final Days: Part II
I'm now 40 weeks + 1 day. I am absolutely shattered because I only got 3 hrs sleep last night. My anxiety levels hit the roof and I just couldn't get comfortable....aargh! It's amazing how the hours just tick away and before you know it, it's the morning.
So I decided to refocus the day on relaxing. I think this will be the key to inducing labour and ending these frustrating last days. I sat in a bath with lavender bath salts and a face mask. It did wonders for decreasing those anxiety levels.
I tried to get a nap on the couch, but I think all the chocolate I ate prevented any zzzz's from happening.
I've also started to eat pineapple, which apparently helps to soften the cervix. Unfortunately I think you're supposed to eat about 7 a day for it to have any affect, but I'll start with half a pineapple for today.
So, day 1 in labour induction attempts? A relaxing, warm bath and pineapple.
Now, just cross my fingers before I go to bed.
*A SILLY UPDATE*
All my efforts did end up working that day as my waters broke that night and I went into labour!!
So I decided to refocus the day on relaxing. I think this will be the key to inducing labour and ending these frustrating last days. I sat in a bath with lavender bath salts and a face mask. It did wonders for decreasing those anxiety levels.
I tried to get a nap on the couch, but I think all the chocolate I ate prevented any zzzz's from happening.
I've also started to eat pineapple, which apparently helps to soften the cervix. Unfortunately I think you're supposed to eat about 7 a day for it to have any affect, but I'll start with half a pineapple for today.
So, day 1 in labour induction attempts? A relaxing, warm bath and pineapple.
Now, just cross my fingers before I go to bed.
*A SILLY UPDATE*
All my efforts did end up working that day as my waters broke that night and I went into labour!!
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Frustrations in the Final Days: Part I
My husband has been home for 3 days now. He is officially on leave. Yeah, I was happy at first, but now I'm not so sure.
I hate making things about me (birthdays excluded), but I really feel that he should be spending these last days with me. It will be last time its just the two of us. I had envisioned us going out for breakfasts or going for walks. Instead I find myself competing with his mobile phone and some online game he plays.
To be honest, his obsession with his game gives me the shits. It's the first thing he does when he wakes up. It's the last thing he does when he goes to sleep. If I ask him to do something he will always take breaks to check his game. This morning he was cuddling me with one arm and messaging other players with his free hand.
He is quite happy to sit in the lounge with the TV on all day (not necessarily watching it) and play on his mobile. If I want to spend time with him, I get to sit on the couch next to him and watch the same crappy TV, while he...plays on his mobile.
It's down to the last days of my pregnancy, and we've been getting a lot of advice to have lots of sex to induce labour. I mean the whole process is physically awkward for me, but I'd give it a good crack. But after a whole day of being ignored, it gets to the point where I'd rather clean the house than participate in any other activities with him. By the end of the day I just sneak off to bed, because I have nothing left to say to him.
Lets face it, if I'm going to spend the day by myself, he may as well go back to work.
I hate making things about me (birthdays excluded), but I really feel that he should be spending these last days with me. It will be last time its just the two of us. I had envisioned us going out for breakfasts or going for walks. Instead I find myself competing with his mobile phone and some online game he plays.
To be honest, his obsession with his game gives me the shits. It's the first thing he does when he wakes up. It's the last thing he does when he goes to sleep. If I ask him to do something he will always take breaks to check his game. This morning he was cuddling me with one arm and messaging other players with his free hand.
He is quite happy to sit in the lounge with the TV on all day (not necessarily watching it) and play on his mobile. If I want to spend time with him, I get to sit on the couch next to him and watch the same crappy TV, while he...plays on his mobile.
It's down to the last days of my pregnancy, and we've been getting a lot of advice to have lots of sex to induce labour. I mean the whole process is physically awkward for me, but I'd give it a good crack. But after a whole day of being ignored, it gets to the point where I'd rather clean the house than participate in any other activities with him. By the end of the day I just sneak off to bed, because I have nothing left to say to him.
Lets face it, if I'm going to spend the day by myself, he may as well go back to work.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
The pram saga continues...
So we had decided on hiring the capsule and the pram. After our last appointment with the OB, hubby decided it may be best if we bring the hire date forward in case the (not so) little one came early. I felt that was a fair call.
Hubby and I headed to Baby Bunting a few weeks later, and I showed him the pram I had my eye on. It's a Steelcraft Agile travel system. I was fixated on getting a pram that was lightweight, could fold easily and worked with a capsule. He chose the colour - Forest Green.
Now, besides our initial phone call, I had received no further contact or confirmation from them at all. No letter or email to confirm my booking, just a reassurance that they would contact me a week before my booked date. So I felt it was best to send them an email at this point to start getting everything in writing (that's my admin side of my coming out!)
My email detailed my booking and asked questions like; "Will you install it on the day?" "Do you need extension straps for a station wagon?" "Does it come with rain cover?" etc. etc. I included my contact details so they could call me back and we could have a proper discussion.
I received a reply that simply said, "And again, one which might be better off with a phone call…."
I was stunned to say the least. I spiralled out of control and drowned my sorrows in a packet of M&Ms and Kettle Chips. I had no more energy to invest in this drama. There was no way I was dealing with them anymore if that was the response I was going to get from them. I felt pretty crap...defeated.
After a few days of mulling it over, I told hubby that we wouldn't be hiring anymore. When I explained to him what had happened...well, let's just say that they were lucky they weren't dealing with him. He can be quite intimidating when he has his angry eyes on, but much worse when he opens his mouth.
Hubby and I headed to Baby Bunting a few weeks later, and I showed him the pram I had my eye on. It's a Steelcraft Agile travel system. I was fixated on getting a pram that was lightweight, could fold easily and worked with a capsule. He chose the colour - Forest Green.
It's at home now, waiting for the new arrival. It folds pretty small and is so light! I'm so happy it's the end of that saga.
Sunday, 16 September 2012
32 Weeks - A future rugby player?
My 32 week scan was a little bit of a surprise...
The scan was done in the OB's office, so nothing too fancy. We couldn't really understand at all what we were looking at...everything just looks squashed. But we got the flimsy little print out as the photographic evidence.
But this was the scan where the OB gives you an estimate of the size of the baby. And our little chunky monkey was proudly sitting in the 90th percentile on the boof head scale - which means he's a whopper compared to other babies at 32wks. According to my pregnancy app, baby should have been around 1.8kg. Ours? 2.3kg.
Yep, I was growing a big, boof head, rugby player inside my unsuspecting uterus.
I thought I'd been quite small during my pregnancy, but had obviously hit some growth spurts after I reached 20 wks. I was a little stunned. The OB said we should be prepared for a possible early arrival and that he'll be carefully monitoring the baby's growth once I reach 38 weeks (if nothing has happened before then).
But you know what I thought was really scary? When I told my friend that the little boof head was estimated to be 2.3kg, she told me that was how much her baby weighed when he was born...at 37 wks. That's right. My baby was already the size of a 37 week old baby.
I have since discovered that a few friend's babies have weighed around 2.6 - 2.9kg...how much more is he going to grow?
Get this baby out now!
The scan was done in the OB's office, so nothing too fancy. We couldn't really understand at all what we were looking at...everything just looks squashed. But we got the flimsy little print out as the photographic evidence.
But this was the scan where the OB gives you an estimate of the size of the baby. And our little chunky monkey was proudly sitting in the 90th percentile on the boof head scale - which means he's a whopper compared to other babies at 32wks. According to my pregnancy app, baby should have been around 1.8kg. Ours? 2.3kg.
Yep, I was growing a big, boof head, rugby player inside my unsuspecting uterus.
I thought I'd been quite small during my pregnancy, but had obviously hit some growth spurts after I reached 20 wks. I was a little stunned. The OB said we should be prepared for a possible early arrival and that he'll be carefully monitoring the baby's growth once I reach 38 weeks (if nothing has happened before then).
But you know what I thought was really scary? When I told my friend that the little boof head was estimated to be 2.3kg, she told me that was how much her baby weighed when he was born...at 37 wks. That's right. My baby was already the size of a 37 week old baby.
I have since discovered that a few friend's babies have weighed around 2.6 - 2.9kg...how much more is he going to grow?
Get this baby out now!
Sunday, 9 September 2012
31 weeks - The showering of gifts!
I drove up to Sydney for my baby shower which my friends had so generously organised for me. It was so well done and I left there feeling so loved and felt that I had the luckiest little baby in the world to have so many people who loved him too. It was such a delight to not have to worry about anything but turning up, and spending the weekend with so many loved ones.
I drove home with a car boot full of gifts and purchases (I did some shopping at IKEA while I was there of course) Poor hubby had to make a few trips to the car and back to bring everything inside.
All the food was made from scratch. Even the bunting and decorations were hand made. You'll see from my pics all the love they all put into it :)
Thank you guys!
I drove home with a car boot full of gifts and purchases (I did some shopping at IKEA while I was there of course) Poor hubby had to make a few trips to the car and back to bring everything inside.
All the food was made from scratch. Even the bunting and decorations were hand made. You'll see from my pics all the love they all put into it :)
Thank you guys!
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
28 weeks
I'm embarking on the third and final trimester! I finally reached 28 weeks on the weekend!!
There are certain stages of pregnancy that seem to just take forever. It seems likes ages since my last milestone, which was the 20 week scan. Well, I did the Glucose challenge last week at 27 weeks, and my next Obstetrician appointment is next week...where I think I will be due for my 28/29 week ultrasound. But the most exciting thing is we're going to Max Brenner's afterwards...mmmm, rewarding chocolatey goodness.
I've still been really lucky throughout my pregnancy. I haven't had any complications that are worth complaining about. The baby has passed every milestone with flying colours. I'm steadily gaining weight. I guess the only complication I can complain about is the financial stress...but I know that will pass.
I'm starting to get a little bit more achey now, especially in the legs. Sometimes my belly feels really heavy, and I can feel a bit of ligament strain. Perhaps my most "weirdest" pain is situated right in the groin. It's this amazingly heavy pressure that feels like someone has kicked me in the crotch. I waddled into the living room and wailed, "I feel like I've been dry humping a concrete pillar!" After my husband picked himself up from the puddles of laughter, I waddled over to the couch and laid there whining a lot. Thankfully, it's not something that lasts for long. But it does come and go.
I'm also learning how to take it easy. It's a lot harder than I expected. It drives me crazy that I can't do all the things I would normally be able to do. I can't fit in half as much into my day as I used to. By the weekend, the only thing I look forward to, is a Sunday arvo nap. Yep, it's tough.
Friday, 17 August 2012
The Fertiles vs the Unfortunates
I have three stories about fertility. These stories are about three girls who all grew up together and have known each other their whole lives.
The first girl met a boy who was absolutely smitten with her and was already talking about having children with her. Even though she wasn't as keen, she had tests done because she was concerned about her health and whether she was able to have children. Her tests revealed that she would in fact have trouble conceiving, partly due to her obesity and some uterine issues. This didn't bother her at the time, as she was still in her early 20s...and she was later to go on to have two healthy babies with the man she eventually married.
The second girl married the man of her dreams in her mid 20s and had a number of health issues, one of them being endometriosis. Straight away there was concern for them conceiving. So they immediately started trying. And they successfully conceived within 4 months!
The third girl met a boy in her late teens and married in their late 20s with the plan of starting a family soon after. They were both happy and healthy, neither of them having any major health issues their whole lives. In fact, they had very boring medical histories....very uneventful! Both came from big families...surely they were natural "breeders". Yet, they struggled to conceive for years.
I'm sure you've guessed by now that the last girl is me. I was a natural "breeder" from a big family. My cousins were breeders and started having children in their teens. It's a natural assumption that I would have no problems getting pregnant. I never had weight issues or irregular periods.
I used to be a "Fertile". Or so I thought. Unknowingly, I was in fact an "Unfortunate". Infertility does not discriminate. It can strike anyone, including people you would least expect, like me.
I used to work with a guy who was a similar age to me. His wife was pregnant, but I had no idea at the time what they had gone through to get to that stage. When I found out they conceived through IVF, I'll admit that my immediate thought was that he was shooting blanks. Surely, that's the only cause of infertility? I mean, how narrow minded was I? Well now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I know that I'm faced with the same sort of response. Fertiles will just never understand because infertility isn't really something that is discussed. Oh, don't get me wrong, EVERYONE knows SOMEONE who has struggled to conceive (you have no idea how many people have told me these stories), but they will just never understand what any Unfortunate goes through.
Well, it sucks being an Unfortunate. It's just bloody unfair. It's a bloody struggle to achieve a pregnancy and it still affects you afterwards. Even though I have been incredibly lucky with a successful IVF cycle first go, the legacy of infertility continues to lurk there in the recesses of my mind. It holds me back (just that little bit) from investing too much of myself in the pregnancy or the birth. It took me months to accept that this was finally happening, because my mind just became trained to accept dissapointment. So I've always been a bit reserved during this pregnancy, knowing that anything could go wrong at any time. It feels like a reeeally long and tiring battle to the finish line. As I get closer to the finish line, everything becomes more real and I get a little bit more excited about future plans.
Sigh...I know getting over the finish line will be amazing and we can finally start the next chapter of our lives with our new little family. But the fight to get there will never be forgotten.
The first girl met a boy who was absolutely smitten with her and was already talking about having children with her. Even though she wasn't as keen, she had tests done because she was concerned about her health and whether she was able to have children. Her tests revealed that she would in fact have trouble conceiving, partly due to her obesity and some uterine issues. This didn't bother her at the time, as she was still in her early 20s...and she was later to go on to have two healthy babies with the man she eventually married.
The second girl married the man of her dreams in her mid 20s and had a number of health issues, one of them being endometriosis. Straight away there was concern for them conceiving. So they immediately started trying. And they successfully conceived within 4 months!
The third girl met a boy in her late teens and married in their late 20s with the plan of starting a family soon after. They were both happy and healthy, neither of them having any major health issues their whole lives. In fact, they had very boring medical histories....very uneventful! Both came from big families...surely they were natural "breeders". Yet, they struggled to conceive for years.
I'm sure you've guessed by now that the last girl is me. I was a natural "breeder" from a big family. My cousins were breeders and started having children in their teens. It's a natural assumption that I would have no problems getting pregnant. I never had weight issues or irregular periods.
I used to be a "Fertile". Or so I thought. Unknowingly, I was in fact an "Unfortunate". Infertility does not discriminate. It can strike anyone, including people you would least expect, like me.
I used to work with a guy who was a similar age to me. His wife was pregnant, but I had no idea at the time what they had gone through to get to that stage. When I found out they conceived through IVF, I'll admit that my immediate thought was that he was shooting blanks. Surely, that's the only cause of infertility? I mean, how narrow minded was I? Well now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I know that I'm faced with the same sort of response. Fertiles will just never understand because infertility isn't really something that is discussed. Oh, don't get me wrong, EVERYONE knows SOMEONE who has struggled to conceive (you have no idea how many people have told me these stories), but they will just never understand what any Unfortunate goes through.
Well, it sucks being an Unfortunate. It's just bloody unfair. It's a bloody struggle to achieve a pregnancy and it still affects you afterwards. Even though I have been incredibly lucky with a successful IVF cycle first go, the legacy of infertility continues to lurk there in the recesses of my mind. It holds me back (just that little bit) from investing too much of myself in the pregnancy or the birth. It took me months to accept that this was finally happening, because my mind just became trained to accept dissapointment. So I've always been a bit reserved during this pregnancy, knowing that anything could go wrong at any time. It feels like a reeeally long and tiring battle to the finish line. As I get closer to the finish line, everything becomes more real and I get a little bit more excited about future plans.
Sigh...I know getting over the finish line will be amazing and we can finally start the next chapter of our lives with our new little family. But the fight to get there will never be forgotten.
The Great Pram Debacle
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| The bad luck charm on 3 wheels (not our actual pram, but same model) |
We were still in our first year of marriage and just starting our journey of (mis)conception. We were given a pram, a stroller and a car seat from my husband's mother. They were used by her partner's daughter back in 2004(?). I wasn't overly pleased with the kind donation because it represented all the pressure from the in-laws to get on the reproduction wagon, and I found it quite invasive. But we kept them in the back shed for years, gathering dust, mice poo and snail trails.
At the beginning of this year, I convinced my husband to get rid of the car seat as mice had found some forgotten crumbs under the seat lining and eaten the stuffing under the seat. I was also concerned that it didn't meet current Australian Safety Standards. But I had this weird thing that it was like a bad luck charm because of the all the expectations it represented. And what do you know? Two weeks after we threw it in the bin, I found out I was pregnant. A coincidence? :)
But we still held on to the pram and stroller.
I don't have a problem with the stroller. It's easy to fold. It's light and it's simple to use. But the pram is heavy (more than 12kg), incredibly bulky and doesn't lock when it's folded down. It also isn't reversible, which is something I really wanted so the baby could face me when it was very young. The tyres were also flat.
I hated this pram!
I loathed the idea of having to lug this thing around to do the shopping or go out for coffee. Or even pushing it around the shops. I gave my husband an ultimatum, that he clean the mice poo and snail trails and fix the tyres, or I would just go out and buy a pram to suit myself.
Well, to his credit, he did just that. So now I have to eat my words and we're keeping the pram.
After all the research I did on prams, I'm happy with this option. If we bought that option at retail it would be more than $400, and we could quite possibly want to get rid of it after 6 months to find something more suitable anyway. Capsules are just ridiculously expensive!
All images used in this post are not my own. They have been taken from a google image search. Please contact me if you want them to be removed.
Monday, 30 July 2012
Handy IVF App: Menstrual Calendar
So I started using Menstrual Calendar a few months before I started my first IVF cycle in January 2012. The main purpose was to track my menstrual cycle to see how consistent it was, as well as predicting my ovulation times. I could also record other symptoms throughout the month to see if there were any recurring patterns. As you know, it didn't really help me to conceive, but it did keep a good record and proved invaluable during IVF.
I used the free version for a while, but soon paid for the upgrade so that I could customise the settings. It allowed me to customise what symptoms I wanted to record and what symbols I wanted to use to depict the symptoms on the calendar.
I found this handy with IVF because I recorded any notes I had that I might want to discuss with FS later, or if I just wasn't sure about something. Also, I recorded appointments and test results.
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| My Calendar |
The picture above shows what my calendar view looks like. Because I upgraded the app, I've customised the icons and the background colour. I've added icons to show what medication I had taken, my appointments and tests as well as my body temperature. Really handy for a quick check of information. If you want a more detailed report, you can email the full cycle report to yourself or your doctor. Click here to see my cycle report.
Other apps which I have heard are good to use are:
Can you recommend any other apps?
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Choosing the all important pram
A few years ago, we were given a pram, which I'm not convinced is very useful to me. So I'm beginning the intimidating task of researching prams. There are so many brands with so many features, but more importantly, they're so expensive! So, it's not a decision I want to make lightly.
Here are some suggestions to help you with your pram choice.
Now, what next?
Start doing some research on the internet. Check out forums and product reviews. Try this website, it has a little selection guide where you can select the features that you're looking for in a pram. It then shows you the results with a table of features and the prices.
Also, check out pram tips, it helps you define what you need in a pram which then helps you decide on which features are most important to you and which features you don't need.
Prams can range from budget ($200 - $400), mid range ($600-$800) or razzle dazzle ( >$1000). One piece of advice I've taken on is, don't be fooled by the brand or price tag. Just because it looks fancy doesn't mean it has the features you need, and you may be paying more for features you don't want.
Once you've kind of worked out what you need in a pram, go into a store and ask the sales assistant to show you prams that meet your requirements and what features you think you need most. She'll give you invaluable advice and comparisons that websites can't really offer, like wheel traction and demonstrating how to collapse and open the frames. Simple things like that can make your decision in a snap.
How do I work this out?
OK, so I went to Baby Bunting yesterday, and the sales assistant was absolutely brilliant. Make sure you ask the assistant to demonstrate how to use the features, like swapping bassinets and seats, how to use the brakes, collapsing and opening the pram.
She gave me a lot to think about, so I've been researching pram brands all night. I created my own comparison table and used a grading system. I was able to determine which features were most important, which changed dramatically from what I initially wanted.
Don't forget that you could be lucky enough to find a second hand pram on eBay or gumtree. I've found a couple of prams (good brands) that were only 3-6 months old, but they were a bit too far to pick up. If the price is really good, it may be worth organising a courier to pick it up for you.
Otherwise, find a good baby store like Baby Bunting and take advantage of their lay-by system, which is a massive bonus as you don't have to pay upfront like on the internet.
Will keep you posted on the pram purchase...
Here are some suggestions to help you with your pram choice.
Get some practical advice.
Talk to your friends or family who have recently had babies and ask them what they found useful and the purchases they regret. They are always helpful with advice for buying prams and what to look for in a pram.
Now, what next?
Start doing some research on the internet. Check out forums and product reviews. Try this website, it has a little selection guide where you can select the features that you're looking for in a pram. It then shows you the results with a table of features and the prices.
Also, check out pram tips, it helps you define what you need in a pram which then helps you decide on which features are most important to you and which features you don't need.
Prams can range from budget ($200 - $400), mid range ($600-$800) or razzle dazzle ( >$1000). One piece of advice I've taken on is, don't be fooled by the brand or price tag. Just because it looks fancy doesn't mean it has the features you need, and you may be paying more for features you don't want.
Once you've kind of worked out what you need in a pram, go into a store and ask the sales assistant to show you prams that meet your requirements and what features you think you need most. She'll give you invaluable advice and comparisons that websites can't really offer, like wheel traction and demonstrating how to collapse and open the frames. Simple things like that can make your decision in a snap.
How do I work this out?
OK, so I went to Baby Bunting yesterday, and the sales assistant was absolutely brilliant. Make sure you ask the assistant to demonstrate how to use the features, like swapping bassinets and seats, how to use the brakes, collapsing and opening the pram.
She gave me a lot to think about, so I've been researching pram brands all night. I created my own comparison table and used a grading system. I was able to determine which features were most important, which changed dramatically from what I initially wanted.
- Budget - less than $800
- Lightweight - less than 10kg, easy to lift in and out of car. Look for aluminium frames, not steel.
- Suitable from birth
- Reversible Seat - important for when bubs is very young.
- Travel system compatible - Just clip the capsule from car to pram, not waking sleeping baby.
- All terrain - to be used for walks around the neighbourhood and shopping centres
- Compact when folded, small enough for shopping centres.
Don't forget that you could be lucky enough to find a second hand pram on eBay or gumtree. I've found a couple of prams (good brands) that were only 3-6 months old, but they were a bit too far to pick up. If the price is really good, it may be worth organising a courier to pick it up for you.
Otherwise, find a good baby store like Baby Bunting and take advantage of their lay-by system, which is a massive bonus as you don't have to pay upfront like on the internet.
Will keep you posted on the pram purchase...
Friday, 13 July 2012
My IVF Cycle Report
I had downloaded an App called Menstrual Calendar after 2 years of trying to conceive. It helped me keep track of my menstruation cycle and predict my ovulation times.
One of the great features of this App (which I found invaluable during IVF) is that it records all your appointments, medications, weight, temperature, tests and any notes you might add. You can email yourself (or your doctor) a report that lists everything for each day of the month.
Below is an example of my "report". If you can be bothered reading through the whole thing, it shows a good summary of the drugs that I was taking, how long I was taking them for and any relating symptoms as well as my test results. Well, it's interesting for me to read it back anyway.
One of the great features of this App (which I found invaluable during IVF) is that it records all your appointments, medications, weight, temperature, tests and any notes you might add. You can email yourself (or your doctor) a report that lists everything for each day of the month.
Below is an example of my "report". If you can be bothered reading through the whole thing, it shows a good summary of the drugs that I was taking, how long I was taking them for and any relating symptoms as well as my test results. Well, it's interesting for me to read it back anyway.
3/02/12 - Day 1 of cycle
- Notes : Period kind of started today. But it is really light and sporadic. It kind of started yesterday but it was more like spotting. Not sure if it's because of the Synarel? I've been taking it for over a week?
- Medications : Synarel
- Menstruation : Light
4/02/12 - Day 2 of cycle
- Notes : Start Gonal-f at 150
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
- Menstruation : Moderate
5/02/12 - Day 3 of cycle
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
- Menstruation : Light
6/02/12 - Day 4 of cycle
- Spotting / bleeding : Low
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
7/02/12 - Day 5 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.33
- Weight : 73.7 kg
- Spotting / bleeding : Low
- Abdominal cramps : Low
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
8/02/12 - Day 6 of cycle
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
- Medical appointments : Acupuncture
9/02/12 - Day 7 of cycle
- Weight : 72.9 kg
- Intercourse : Unprotected
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
10/02/12 - Day 8 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.15
- Notes : Blood test today. Levels at 750. Increase Gonal-f to 187.5.
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
- Medical appointments : Blood test
11/02/12 - Day 9 of cycle
- Notes : Saw the counsellor today. Was a bit of an eye-opener...
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
12/02/12 - Day 10 of cycle
- Intercourse : Unprotected
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
13/02/12 - Day 11 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.15
- Notes : Blood test and Ultrasound today. Scan showed 1 follicle in the right and none in the left. Blood Test showed E levels increased to 2900 which indicates 2 or 3 large follicles (or possibly 6 smaller follicles). Even 750 levels from Friday indicate more than 1 follicle. 1 follicle would show levels of at least 500. Weird.
- Abdominal cramps : Low
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
- Medical appointments : Blood test, Ultrasound
14/02/12 - Day 12 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.07
- Notes : Ultrasound - 11 follicles found!
- Abdominal cramps : Low
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
- Medical appointments : Ultrasound
15/02/12 - Day 13 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.21
- Weight : 74.1
- Medications : Synarel, Gonal-f
16/02/12 - Day 14 of cycle
- Notes : Trigger shot at 9.45pm. Stop synarel and Gonal-f. Lining 12mm
- Medications : Ovidrel
- Medical appointments : Acupuncture, Blood test, Ultrasound
18/02/12 - Day 16 of cycle
- Temperature : 35.84
- Notes : EPU @ 9.45am. Be at clinic at 8.45am. Start Crinone tonight.
- Spotting / bleeding : Low
- Abdominal cramps : Medium
- Medications : Crinone
- Medical appointments : EPU Egg pick up
19/02/12 - Day 17 of cycle
- Notes : 5 out 5 eggs fertilised! Woo hoo!
- Bloating : Low
- Abdominal cramps : Low
- Muscle / joint pain : Low
- Medications : Crinone
20/02/12 - Day 18 of cycle
- Notes : Embryos have reached 4 cell stage. Will be having 5 day transfer on Thursday.
- Bloating : Low
- Abdominal cramps : Low
- Muscle / joint pain : Low
- Medications : Crinone
21/02/12 - Day 19 of cycle
- Weight : 73.8
- Notes : Ow! Sharp pain in my right ovary!
- Abdominal cramps : Low
- Medications : Crinone
22/02/12 - Day 20 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
23/02/12 - Day 21 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
- Medical appointments : ET Embryo Transfer
24/02/12 - Day 22 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
25/02/12 - Day 23 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
26/02/12 - Day 24 of cycle
- Notes : Foolin around woo hoo
- Medications : Crinone
27/02/12 - Day 25 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
28/02/12 - Day 26 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.7
- Medications : Crinone
29/02/12 - Day 27 of cycle
- Weight : 72.9
- Notes : Bit crampy today. Could be PMS?
- Medications : Crinone
1/03/12 - Day 28 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.84
- Weight : 72.5
- Notes : Had apple strudel with cream, feeling a bit nauseous. Had a very heavy crampy feeling down low this morning and once last night. Skin looking good. 1.45pm: I'm either very hungry or feeling sick. It feels like its sitting at the top of my stomach. Gonna go eat now. 6.30pm: Feeling a bit breathless when walking the dogs. 9.44pm: Now I have a sharp crampy pain along my right side. Almost radiating from my ovary.
- Medications : Crinone
2/03/12 - Day 29 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.83
- Notes : 2.30pm: That sick feeling at the top of my stomach again! All my symptoms are Crinone side effects. Have been getting white rubbery discharge...ew!
- Medications : Crinone
- Medical appointments : Acupuncture
3/03/12 - Day 30 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.74
- Notes : Took temp a bit late, after I went to the toilet and went back to bed. Got my BFP Today!!
- Intercourse : Unprotected
- Pregnancy test : Positive
- Medications : Crinone
- Medical appointments : Blood test
4/03/12 - Day 31 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.86
- Notes : Very bloaty and gassy today. Short of breath.
- Intercourse : Unprotected
- Medications : Crinone
5/03/12 - Day 32 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.72
- Notes : Feeling really bloaty today. Actually have stomach pain. It feels really full and tight at the top of my stomach. So constipated. Will try pear juice. Incredibly itchy left boob. Ow!
- Medications : Crinone
6/03/12 - Day 33 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.86
- Notes : Symptoms not too bad today. Still very bloaty. Incredibly itchy boobs.
- Medications : Crinone
7/03/12 - Day 34 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.68
- Notes : So bloated. Heavy feeling at top of stomach. Breathing hard. Drank prune and pear juice. So full. Uncomfortable. Frightened I might mess my pants. Need to pee all the time and straight away!!
- Medications : Crinone
8/03/12 - Day 35 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.68
- Notes : Not so crampy or bloaty today. Still no period. Consistent temperature confirms the BFP...
- Medications : Crinone
- Medical appointments : Acupuncture
9/03/12 - Day 36 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.81
- Weight : 72.5
- Notes : A bit crampy tonight. It feels low.
- Medications : Crinone
10/03/12 - Day 37 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.66
- Intercourse : Unprotected
- Medications : Crinone
- Medical appointments : Blood test
11/03/12 - Day 38 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.7
- Intercourse : Unprotected
- Medications : Crinone
12/03/12 - Day 39 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
13/03/12 - Day 40 of cycle
- Intercourse : Unprotected
- Medications : Crinone
14/03/12 - Day 41 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.74
- Medications : Crinone
15/03/12 - Day 42 of cycle
- Temperature : 36.84
- Medications : Crinone
16/03/12 - Day 43 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
17/03/12 - Day 44 of cycle
- Notes : HCG level @ 16978, progesterone @ 680. Everything normal.
- Medications : Crinone
- Medical appointments : Blood test
18/03/12 - Day 45 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
19/03/12 - Day 46 of cycle
- Weight : 71.7
- Medical appointments : Ultrasound
20/03/12 - Day 47 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
21/03/12 - Day 48 of cycle
- Medical appointments : Acupuncture
22/03/12 - Day 49 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
24/03/12 - Day 51 of cycle
- Medications : Crinone
31/03/12 - Day 58 of cycle
- Intercourse : Unprotected
1/04/12 - Day 59 of cycle
- Intercourse : Unprotected
2/04/12 - Day 60 of cycle
- Medical appointments : Ultrasound
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