Round two. You would have thought that the hard yakka from round one would have prepared me, but no! No it does not. Why? Because we've moved away from family who can help with childcare while I have my many appointments. Because we left all the specialists that I'm familiar with and have had to find new ones to trust. Because we left perfectly good embryos behind, just waiting to be implanted in the oven. Because IVF in Perth would have been a much better financial option. Because I left the security of a great job with a boss who was understanding of my predicament. Because we kept our house in Perth as an "investment property" which has now become an unplanned financial burden. And because now we are essentially back to one wage with less means for saving. And juggling all of this with a toddler is a lot harder than you would think.
This round has been so hard because I know what I have to do, but we just can't get the money together to do it. And it has just been delay after delay after delay. Every time I'm close to saving enough, something always comes up and we're back to square one.
It all came to a head over a recent heated discussion over our finances. It became apparent that we'd never be able to afford to do IVF. It really hit me hard to say those words and admit defeat. I was sobbing heavily, you know, the kind where your whole body shakes and you can't breathe. But after a few hours, there was something still clicking over in the back of my mind. "Maybe we could see a specialist and ask if an IUI could work? That would be cheaper. Or maybe we could fly back to Perth? I'm sure it would be a cheaper option in the end. Or..."
And that's when I realised my true strength. I couldn't even admit my own defeat. My own brain wouldn't let me. This is the one new years resolution I was going to see through with. It's not the first little challenge I've ever come across, but it's the first one where I could see my emotional muscles working with a relentless determination. I've given myself a goal for this year. I'm not going to let myself down.
Thanks for your blog! I have just started my first IVF cycle after 2 years. Injection start Thursday!
ReplyDeleteIn regards to wanting to go another round is it possible to have your frozen ones shipped over?
Otherwise you may even find a trip back this way might save you some money. We are doing Concept's new Standard IVF, we will be $1200 out of pocket after rebates and for FET it is $1000 (that is assuming you hit the medicare safety net). We are going down this path as it gives us many more chances to try.... but it isn't as personalised as the usual process but we are happy to give it a go.
Good luck, no matter which path you take!
Hi there,
DeleteThank you so much for your comment. I had actually forgotten I had written this post. We still haven't started our second round yet, but we decided to transport the embryos here as its less stress and the easier option if we have to do further cycles. This post has given me a little kick of encouragement and I'll make sure I get this cycle underway soon.
I hope your cycle was a success. Good luck :)
I stumbled upon your blog trying to see if Google could answer my question about whether it was normal for AF not to have shown herself 13 days after starting Synarel. This is our first try with IVF after more than 5 years of trying and no real medical reasons for infertility. Reading your journey has been really encouraging. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi there, I'm not sure if you will actually read this reply, but I hope you've been showered in lucky baby dust. It's not an easy journey, and everyone has a different experience. Just keep moving forward. Good luck :)
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