My labour story: The gory details

Dear Junior C,

Well Little One, this is the story of how you came into this world. I was stressed to the max, waiting in anticipation for your arrival. I was worried that your Nana would totally miss out on seeing you, and she would fly back to New Zealand "empty handed".

It was one day past your due date, and I went to bed early as it was exhausting carrying you around all day. I woke around 2am. As I shifted you in my belly to my other side, I felt a little trickle. I rushed to the toilet and confirmed that my waters had broken. But I was still a little unsure if I was in labour because there was no "show" yet. So I went back to bed and could feel contractions straight away. They weren't too bad, they were only 10 minutes apart. I must have laid there in bed for 2 hours, counting my contractions. The bloody show made it's appearance around 4.30am.

At 5am, I got up and waddled around the living room. I decided to call the hospital and get their advice. I spoke to the nurse while I bounced on the exercise ball. She told me to get ready and come into the hospital so they could check me and my progress. There was no rush. So I pottered around the house, getting my bags ready (and more importantly - my snacks!)

Daddy was still faaaast asleeep.

Daddy woke up around 6am and he laid in bed playing on his mobile (as usual).
I said to him, "Get up Lazy!"
He yawned and said, "Whhyyy?"
"'Cause we're going to the hospital."
"What for?"
"Um...to have a baby!"
"Oh! NOW?!"
"Yes. But please, have a shower first."

We got to the hospital around 8am and we were shown to the labour ward. It was a nice big room, with my own bathroom. The mid wife checked me, and confirmed that I was indeed in labour. I was 3cm dilated. How exciting!

I got to strip down (yet again) and get into my sexy hospital gown. We were there in time for morning tea, so I got to enjoy some cake and a cup of tea. Daddy was timing my contractions using an app that I had downloaded the week before. But not much was happening, so we were moved down to my post natal ward to wait until my labour had progressed a bit more. Daddy and I watched some terrible daytime TV. We were laughing and making jokes. The nurse told us I was enjoying myself too much, so I must still be in the early stages. She said, "Call me when you stop laughing!"

We were there for a while and it got quite boring...until around 1pm. Things were getting a bit more intense. Contractions were coming every 5 minutes. And there were getting stronger and lasting longer. By 3pm, I was straddled over the top of the bed. I wanted to see my nurse. I wasn't laughing anymore. I was hyperventilating. My whole lower body was tingling and I could barely feel my legs. She gave me some oxygen. She checked me again and said I was 6cm dilated. I was progressing well. She asked if I wanted any drugs for the pain. But I declined because she told me labour would probably only take another 4 hours max. I thought, "Sure! I can handle that!"

Well...I lasted an hour. I asked for drugs. I opted for pethidine. She injected it into my shoulder and I was off with the fairies! It felt like I was floating outside of my body. I could feel the contractions coming, but I would "pass out" half way through and forget to breathe. Daddy had to hold me and walk me around the room because I couldn't hold myself up. I couldn't even sit up in bed!

I couldn't remember the next hour very well. But around 6pm, the nurse came back in to check my cervix. I hadn't dilated in 3 hours. I was still only 6cm. My labour had stalled, contractions were slowing down. And you were getting very distressed because you couldn't get out. Daddy was watching your heart rate on the monitor and it shot through the roof at every contraction.

The nurses left the room and contacted my obstetrician. The doctor came into the room around 7.30pm. He told us that because labour had stalled, he didn't know how much longer labour would take. I could have been there for another 8 hours! And even then, you may not have made any more progress. Also, due to the shape of my pelvis, your little head was just not going to fit. "It was like trying to fit a round peg, through a square hole." And besides, my body was giving up. You were getting very distressed. It was time for you to come out.

So we signed the forms for an emergency cesarean. I was wheeled off to theatre. Daddy was made to wait outside while they put the spinal block in. It took them a good 20 minutes because the anesthetist couldn't find the right spot...(mummy has a crooked spine). It was incredibly challenging trying to arch my back like a hissing cat when I had a big beach ball belly in my way!

I was laid flat on the table. A curtain was put up over my chest and daddy was called in. He stood next me, by my shoulders. I couldn't feel anything below my waist because of the spinal block. But I could feel the doctor tugging and rummaging around. He asked me to give one push (which made me giggle because I couldn't feel it). He told daddy to get his camera ready, and then he lifted you out and held you up for daddy to see. You were born at 9.34pm.

I heard you cry, but I didn't get to see you straight away. Daddy went with the nurse to weigh you and cut your umbilical cord. Then they brought you back and I got to see your swollen little face. Daddy took you back to my room and I had to spend another 45 minutes in recovery before I could see you again.

When I got to my room, daddy put you in my arms. You were so tiny! Which is funny because you felt really big inside my belly!!

And there you go. You were a healthy baby boy, who loved to sleep and eat. You're 3 months now, and I've already forgotten how bad the gory details were. Lucky you've made up for it by now!

Welcome to motherhood

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I may have been teetering on the precipice for a while, but I am happy to report that I am now the mother of a beautiful, healthy baby boy - Jnr C. After what seemed like an agonising last few weeks, Jnr C came into this world via emergency C-Section.

I was expecting a natural labour, so was not prepared for the cesarean at all. Labour started to get more intense 6 or 7 hours after I arrived at the hospital. In fact I was in hospital for a total of 14 hours before Jnr C made his appearance. Once the decision had been made to go into theatre, everything happened really quickly. I was laid on the table after they inserted the spinal block and a curtain was put up above my chest so I couldn't see the doctors rummaging around in the basement. My husband was called in and 10 minutes later the sharp cries of little Jnr C pierced the air.

It was the most surreal moment. All the years of trying. All the months of incubating. All the hours of labour. And it was over in 10 minutes. I had a son. I was a mum.

They held this greyish, wrinkly, wriggly little stranger above my face and I looked into his swollen little eyes. And no, I wasn't overwhelmed with a flood of emotion or instant love. I was stunned. I felt so removed from the whole process. My memory of his birth will always be looking at a kaleidoscope of lights above me and a blue curtain. Even when my husband showed me pictures of the doctor holding Jnr C above my opened "handbag," I still couldn't identify with what I was looking at. I was so detached from that moment, it was like I was looking at the pictures of the birth of someone else's baby. I missed out on seeing him come from my body. At least my husband got to see it, take him over to get weighed AND cut his umbilical cord.

And Jnr C remained a stranger to me for a while afterwards. It was still hard for me to grasp the enormity of finally reaching the goal I had worked towards for so many years. Just like my pregnancy, I kept waiting for someone to rip the rug from right under my feet. I would also look at his little sleeping face and feel immense responsibility for this little man. I was somebody's mother and he needed me. It scared me.

The days passed, my confidence grew. I slowly recovered. My energy slowly returned. Now he looks into my eyes and I realise, I am his mother and he needs me. And with that one look, he makes me melt. I am in love. I want to make everything better for him. I want to make him smile everyday. I never want him to stop looking at me like that. How many times can I kiss that kid? Not enough.

Jnr C will be 10 weeks tomorrow. Those weeks have gone by so fast and I can't wait for the next 10.

Frustrations in the Final Days: Part II

I'm now 40 weeks + 1 day. I am absolutely shattered because I only got 3 hrs sleep last night. My anxiety levels hit the roof and I just couldn't get comfortable....aargh! It's amazing how the hours just tick away and before you know it, it's the morning.

So I decided to refocus the day on relaxing. I think this will be the key to inducing labour and ending these frustrating last days. I sat in a bath with lavender bath salts and a face mask. It did wonders for decreasing those anxiety levels.

I tried to get a nap on the couch, but I think all the chocolate I ate prevented any zzzz's from happening.

I've also started to eat pineapple, which apparently helps to soften the cervix. Unfortunately I think you're supposed to eat about 7 a day for it to have any affect, but I'll start with half a pineapple for today.

So, day 1 in labour induction attempts? A relaxing, warm bath and pineapple.

Now, just cross my fingers before I go to bed.


*A SILLY UPDATE*
All my efforts did end up working that day as my waters broke that night and I went into labour!!

Frustrations in the Final Days: Part I

My husband has been home for 3 days now. He is officially on leave. Yeah, I was happy at first, but now I'm not so sure.

I hate making things about me (birthdays excluded), but I really feel that he should be spending these last days with me. It will be last time its just the two of us. I had envisioned us going out for breakfasts or going for walks. Instead I find myself competing with his mobile phone and some online game he plays.

To be honest, his obsession with his game gives me the shits. It's the first thing he does when he wakes up. It's the last thing he does when he goes to sleep. If I ask him to do something he will always take breaks to check his game. This morning he was cuddling me with one arm and messaging other players with his free hand.

He is quite happy to sit in the lounge with the TV on all day (not necessarily watching it) and play on his mobile. If I want to spend time with him, I get to sit on the couch next to him and watch the same crappy TV, while he...plays on his mobile.

It's down to the last days of my pregnancy, and we've been getting a lot of advice to have lots of sex to induce labour. I mean the whole process is physically awkward for me, but I'd give it a good crack. But after a whole day of being ignored, it gets to the point where I'd rather clean the house than participate in any other activities with him. By the end of the day I just sneak off to bed, because I have nothing left to say to him.

Lets face it, if I'm going to spend the day by myself, he may as well go back to work.