7 weeks

OK, so it has been 3 days since my last Crinone prod. I have started to feel a bit better in general. Yesterday I was ready to spring out of bed again, I even surprised myself with this unexpected energy. Unfortunately, it kept me up until 11.30pm and I paid for it this morning. I narrowly missed a car parked in the emergency lane on the way to work...Aaargh! The driver's seat is no place for resting your eyes. Soo tired today. Cannot focus.

I'm also struggling to get a control over my new digestive habits. Sometimes I get the queezies (not to the point of throwing up yet though). So I eat some crackers, or salty chips. Then I'm absolutely starving and I can't stop eating the chips...

I now know the difference between starving and hungry.  When you're hungry, you can stave off the hunger pains with a little nibble here and there. And when you're starving...it changes your personality. I become pre-historic, I can't form sentences and I can only reply with shrugs and grunts. But as soon as I get some food into my stomach, my face softens and I feel human again.

I've switched my diet from high protein/low carbs to high carbs so that I can increase my fibre intake, hoping to help with the constipation. Only problem is the high carbs makes me a bit bloated. When I'm bloated, I struggle to take deep breaths and it feels as though a tight band is squeezing me around the chest. So I huff and I sigh a lot. I know that has started to annoy my husband. Especially when my dog starts copying me and huffs around the house with me! Ha ha ha!

Looks like I'm going to be in for a fun ride!

No more drugs

This week I have been weaning myself off the Crinone on advice from the Fertility Specialist. I've cut my progesterone prodding back to every second night.Tonight will be my last night.

I've been on drugs since January 20, over two months ago. But I'll be drug free from tomorrow!! I'm excited because then I'd know what symptoms are pregnancy symptoms and not chemical side effects. But I'm also a little worried because I'm on my own now. It's up to my own body, with no help from drugs. Can my body support a baby? I don't know. I guess only time will tell. In the mean time my fingers shall remain tightly locked together :)

7 week scan

Today I had my first pregnancy scan and hubby came in with me. It was an internal ultrasound. You can see the little "yolk" sack and the little embryo inside it on the bottom right. He measured it at 43mm and gave the estimated due date of 12 November (my iPhone app wasn't too far off!)

He also showed the heart beat! He pressed some buttons and the screen changed and the little Belly Bean pulsed with the heartbeat. It's little heart rate was 120-140 bpm. There wasn't any sound, so we couldn't listen to it, but WOW! It was really cool!

Afterwards, he told us that we need to visit our GP and get a referral to an obstetrician for the 12 week scan. We could be in Canberra by then! So if anyone can recommend a good obstetrician in the ACT, that would be fantastic.

He also wanted me to come in for one more scan in another 2 weeks. I've been booked in to see the ovary whisperer, so I'll look forward to that. She's really great with any questions you might have, so I'll make sure I'm prepared. Pregnancy ultrasounds don't start until after 8.30am, so I can have a little sleep in.

We were actually charged for this ultrasound ($85), which can be claimed back on Medicare. But I'm sure the other ultrasounds weren't charged? Maybe they were part of the IVF cost? Not sure.  

But at least we got to leave with little print outs of the ultra sound. It's real! Little Belly Bean :)

6 weeks

It's Sunday, I'm officially 6 weeks, starting into my 7th week now. The embryo should now be the size of a rice grain, or a pea. My picture of a rice grain looks a bit small, I probably should have used a long grain rice instead.

I've started to feel a lot better this week, I've been feeling less side effects from the Crinone and less bloated. I've been worrying a little bit about not making it through the first trimester, but I haven't focused too much on it as I'm so excited I'm still actually pregnant.

I've been looking up the foods I'm not allowed, and I would be half way through eating a pizza and think...is that feta cheese cooked enough? Does that chicken look a bit pink? Or I would grab some grapes from the fridge and start eating them before thinking...did I wash those? To be safe, I may just go vegetarian, avoid soft cheeses and wash all the fruit and vegies before they go in the fridge.

A friend and I were saying how some women still smoke and drink during their pregnancy, which put things into perspective a bit. Here I am, worrying about a dirty grape, and other women are still poisoning their unborn child and still carrying a child to full term. I think I should probably relax a bit.

Otherwise, the main pregnancy symptoms I've been feeling this week is frequent urination, sharp pains and twinges, minor cramps, overall tiredness and changes in my appetite.

Frequent urination

What I didn't understand about frequent urination was the immediate urgency for the need to pee. The usual need to pee would consist of 2 or 3 levels of warning. The first one you would ignore, the 2nd level you would start to make your way towards a toilet at a leisurely pace and the third level is "drop your pants now, I'm not waiting for you anymore". Somehow, when you're pregnant, you skip past that first level and you don't hang around on the second level of warning for too long. So don't ignore the alarm bells when they're distantly ringing, get to the toilet quick...even if it's just for a piddly, little amount. Also, night time pees became an issue. I would need to go to the toilet at 3am every morning. It hasn't been so bad lately. Apparently, your hormones send more blood to the pelvic area and your uterus is positioned right on your bladder (until second trimester), meaning you need to pee more. Brilliant.

Sharp pains, twinges and minor cramps

I notice a few sharp pains, especially when I'm lying on my back and try to move around a bit. Nothing too dramatic. I've felt minor cramps in different areas of my lower abdomen as well, but again nothing too drastic. I read somewhere that cramps are a good indication that the uterus is still preparing itself, still in early construction stages.

Soo tired...

I've been quite tired this week. More than usual. I've found it quite hard to get out of bed in the morning, and I'm just ready to fall onto the couch when I get home from work. I don't drink coffee anymore, but I find a cup of tea does wonders for me. I've also really noticed a drop in energy levels since I've stopped taking my multivitamin. I hear it passes, and again, it's just the baby using up all your energy levels to keep working on the construction stages.

Appetite

My appetite has changed a bit. I can't seem to finish a full meal. So I tend to snack more through out the day instead of having big meals. This also helps prevent bloating. And I always wake up starving!

Blood test No.2

Results came back and they were really positive. My pregnancy hormone is around 4000, which means the levels have doubled regularly like it's supposed to. And my progesterone level is 700, but the nurse said it was all good.

I'm due for my next follow up blood test next weekend, and then I'll be ready for my first scan the following week.

I rang my parents today to tell them they would have two grand babies in November this year. They were both so pleased, they nearly made me cry. They had actually thought of us when my brother announced their pregnancy. So yes, they were really happy. Now I'm going to bed to read Harry Potter to my embryo (that's Mum's suggestion).

5 weeks

5 weeks - embryo is the the size of an orange seed.

I downloaded the "What to Expect when You're Expecting" app and discovered that our embryo has grown from the size of a poppy seed to an orange seed in a week. They grow so fast :)

Positive signs
Every morning I remember to take my temperature to make sure that my BBT stays high at around 37°C. If it drops dramatically that means the pregnancy has ended. I also make a mental note each day my period hasn't arrived. So I'm now 5 days past my due period. These are the little things I do to make sure everything is still going okay. So far so good.

Chemical side effects

I'm still suffering Crinone side effects. Bloating. Constipation. Shortness of breath. The other night my stomach swelled so much it was almost bigger than my boobs. I was hunched over in the bathroom struggling to breathe. And then I gingerly waddled into the living room to lay on the couch. I struggled to roll over to my side. When my stomach expands, it pushes against my diaphragm making it more difficult for me to breathe. It has gotten a bit better today, but it's so hard to suck my stomach in while I'm at work.

It costs how much?
Today we received a major invoice for assisted reproductive services totalling $8460. We also received a separate invoice for the gynaecologist and blood tests. In total we're looking at $9630 for our first cycle so far. I'm pretty sure we can expect more invoices to come. Concept don't charge their fees upfront but they do make you sign a fee schedule which lists all the approximate costs. It's still a huge scary surprise when you open that invoice though!


Tomorrow I have my follow up blood test to check how my levels are going. Hopefully everything is going along well. Will keep you posted.

Cousins and Friends

I received the most amazing news today. My little brother and his wife, newly married, will be expecting a baby...the same time as us. His wife is 6 weeks and I'm 5 weeks.

All of a sudden, it's real. I could visualise our kids playing together. I imagined that we both had little boys and they would become the best of friends. They would be ridiculously close in age. It's something I'd always wanted but didn't think I'd have, as my brothers and I have large age gaps between us.

My older brother and I are 4 years apart. He had his first son when I was only 18 and having children didn't quite fit in with my life plans at that stage. My younger brother is 8 years younger than me, and I never expected that we would be having kids at the same time, but there you go. My youngest brother is 15 years younger than me (he's still at school) and I'm sure I will be physically unable to have kids by the time he starts.

I have already fallen in love with this idea. I really, really want this now. This has snapped me out of denial, and I've finally admitted to myself that I'm pregnant. I haven't let myself accept this pregnancy for a number of reasons. I know there is the risk of losing it, and some say the risk is higher with IVF. This had made me a little anxious and over cautious. I find that I always need to remind myself that so many women have already had beautiful children from IVF as well. But again, I will feel safer after 12 weeks.

But the main reason for my self denial is that I'm afraid to let my guard down. I don't want to bottom out on the next speed bump that comes our way. The last few years have been such a struggle for us that I've come to believe that good things just don't happen to us at all. Now all these amazing things are starting to happen for us and I feel as though this is all too good to be true. I just keep waiting for something bad to happen. But it's not. It won't. We're moving back east. I'm pregnant. My brother is expecting a baby at the same time. I think it's meant to be! I'm just over the moon that I'll actually be on the same side of the country to share it all with him.

Now, Little One, I am so excited for you to meet your new cousin. I think you two will be great friends, whether you're boys or girls. Your Nana and Koro (Grandfather) will be so pleased. Two more mokos (Grandkids) to be spending Christmas with this year!

Positive or Negative?

9.00am
I went in for my blood test. It wasn't busy at all, I was in straight away. Fantastic!

11.00am
Had a few errands to do. Medicare and HBF rebates to claim. Puppies to fawn over in the pet shop. Groceries.

2.00pm
Got home. Chatted with the hubby. Played with the dogs.

2.30pm
What time is it? They usually call by now...hmmm, is that a bad sign? What does that mean? Difficult test results?

2.45pm
Still nothing! Do something. Finish putting the groceries away. Jump on the internet.

2.55pm
Well the fertility centre closes in an hour! They must have my results by now! I'm calling them. It keeps ringing for ages and I get butterflies in my stomach. Nervous all of a sudden. I get put through to someone from embryology. OK, that's weird. Maybe the nurse has gone home and they have to do the ring around? Nope!! She started telling me that 4 out of my 12 eggs fertilised. Sorry lady! Wrong person! Back to reception. My results still aren't ready yet. They will call me back.

3.15pm
Nothing. May as well watch a bit of Foxtel.
3.17pm
Waiting!!!

3.29pm
Phone rings. The nurse apologises for not taking my call earlier. She has good news. My Pregnancy Hormone is 290. That means I'm pregnant people! My progesterone level is 685. These are really good levels for the first blood test. I need to go in next weekend for my next blood test to monitor my levels. Once they reach 15,000 (or +32 days/6 weeks) they'll need to book me in for a scan. I'll feel more confident after that. I still need to keep going with the Crinone, so I need to go in tomorrow morning to pick up more meds.

I'm still in a state of disbelief. I had prepared myself for a negative result, so I was absolutely speechless when she told me. I'm on my way to a baby! I'm stunned. My husband had told me to buy some celebratory Cherry Ripes this morning. So we high fived and cracked them open this afternoon to celebrate.

Now, just stick around Little One, and I'll see you in November.

My predicted due date! (week 40)

The Dreaded Two Week Wait (TWW)

Tomorrow I will be finding out the impending failure or success of this last cycle. I'm a bit nervous, but I'll be happy to find know either way. Things have been a bit crazy the last week. We found out we would be moving interstate for Mr.C's new job on the day of the transfer, which is extremely exciting for us. I also had an old school friend stay with me, so I haven't had much time to focus on the TWW. So, what have I been doing since transfer day?

Post transfer

I went straight back to work the next day. It's a boring office job, so I figured that would be okay. My spacehopper had receded, but it was still a sensitive area, so it forced me to take it easy over that weekend as well. Besides the constipation from the Crinone, I don't remember feeling any other side effects. Well, I did emotionally terrorise my husband with crying outbursts for one morning. But that's pretty much it.

It was great to catch up with my friend. We planned a whole day at the day spa. I had a massage, then we got our nails done. It was just what I needed. The masseuse said I was incredibly tense. I was also on a mission working out the logistics of moving our dogs interstate, one who is so big, they don't have a travel crate big enough to fit him! So that kept me occupied for a while.

And then a couple of days ago, things kind of quietened down, and I noticed some cramping and a little bit of stomach pain. That's when I hit the internet. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any definitive answers on what sort of symptoms you can expect after a transfer. What I really wanted to know was, will it be my normal cycle (30 days)? Or will it be shorter/longer because of meds? How do I know if I'm feeling pregnancy symptoms or Crinone symptoms? One thing I did discover was that a lot of the symptoms I felt really are Crinone side effects. The bloating, the nausea, light headedness, short of breath.

While I didn't find the answers to those specific questions, I did find some interesting information on what to do post transfer and during the TWW.

• Vaginal bleeding may occur before you are due for your pregnancy test. Although this is very disappointing, it does not always mean that treatment was unsuccessful. You should continue using the progesterone until there is a full period and/or the blood test results are known. At the same time, the progesterone itself may delay your period, and this does not necessarily mean that you are pregnant. (Click here for more info)
• Crinone should last you two weeks from EPU, and most women will not get their periods whilst taking Crinone during that time anyway.
• Don't do strenuous or aerobic activity for at least 48 hours after transfer. 
• No sexual intercourse for at least a week afterwards (I've found contradicting evidence on that one. Some centres say there is no harm at all, and some encourage it. The sooner the better!)
• Avoid overheating and try to avoid excessive rises in body temperature (eg. spas, saunas, hot baths, sunbathing)
• Just behave as though you are already pregnant to be safe.

So, it leaves me just waiting for my results tomorrow. I will be disappointed if it's a negative, but I've actually enjoyed learning so much more about the whole process. My husband is quite confident it will be positive, but I'm a bit more cautious. I've made plans for either way.